Remember, kids, it’s not what you look like that...
Remember that crazy dream you had about the Indiana Jones movies being the fever dream Han Solo had while he was encased in Carbonite? If you don’t remember it you can find the first part of it here.
Well, we kind of fell asleep on the job and took a while getting this next promised set of evidence up but we’re wide awake now (aren’t we?) and so let’s dive right in.
When we last left our dreamy hero Han Solo, he was just rolling over in his Carbonite bed, imagining that he was a sexy professor, but somehow dealing with a gnawing feeling that he still had to do something important. You know the kind of dream…You forget to study for a final exam, you forget to put on clothes before going to work, you forget to pay off a crime lord named Jabba. It was one of those. And so let us pick things up now in media res:
- While he’s relaxing at home, Han/Indy is vaguely aware that he has to find some money or treasure fast to pay off his debts. At this point a wise older teacher/father figure makes a point to tell him that there are powerful forces at work in the universe. He’s obviously thinking of his hilarious retort to Ben Kenobi (“Hokey religion and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.”) when he tells Marcus “I don’t believe in magic, a lot of superstitious hocus pocus…besides, you know what a cautious fellow I am” and tosses his gun into his suitcase. You can learn more about this in Minute 23.
- Still not completely aware of the magnitude of the powers he’s dealing with, Indy (in Minute 24) makes his way to a distant outpost in a remote ice world. Little does he know that he’s being pursued here by dark, shadowy forces intent on bringing all the powers of a sinister empire against him. ..
- Indy, for some reason associating this cold world with the spark of new love, falls asleep on the way there (dream within a dream!) and suddenly imagines what it will be like when he arrives. He imagines a familiar world, a homey cantina situated on the edge of the known universe populated by colorful characters. One of the first of these colorful characters we meet is a woman dressed in Ewok garb. While Han obviously hasn’t met any Ewoks on Endor yet, we can assume that he has seen them on Space Wild Kingdom at Chewie’s house during one of their Life Day binge-watching marathons. Minutes 25 and 26.
- This frontier station with the promise of new love has Indy in a reflective mood. Suddenly even the hats he imagines in Minute 26 seem to be urging him that someone he cares about may be in danger.
- Yet…somehow there seems to be something missing in Indy’s imaginary world…The literal woman of his dreams is there but there’s something he can’t quite put his finger on…Something missing…This needs…”MOHAN!” shouts Marion. Mohan! More Han! That’s it!
- And with a start Indy wakes up at his destination. It’s the same frigid frontier outpost from his dream. And who does he find there in Minute 26 but an old friend with remarkably familiar-seeming hair.
- But Indy being Indy (and Han being Han), our hero can’t stop thinking about treasure or money for long. He remembers that he needs to negotiate the use of a round falcon-associated object for some reason. Vaguely recalling a desperate old man saying “We’ll pay you two thousand now…Plus fifteen when we reach Alderaan,” Indy decides to play it a little cooler and says “Three thousand bucks…I can get you another two when we get to the states.” You can hear all about this in Minute 28.…….
- Indy, still not entirely sure why his negotiating skills didn’t bear immediate fruit, steps out into the night, the temperature dropping rapidly. While he’s out gazing at the snowy mountains, wondering how much life there really is on this ice cube, his friend suddenly finds herself in danger, confronting a sinister figure dressed in all black, breathing kinda funny and wielding a glowing red sword-like object. [Special thanks to David Innis and Doris Weiss for pointing this one out.] ……..
- At this point in the dream, former (and future) guest of the show John Brueggen brings the following item to our attention: We’ve got a scoundrel in a vest with a monkey companion dreaming about a monkey in a vest with a scoundrel companion.
- In Minute 42 Han’s dream suddenly veers into nightmare territory. At least the nightmare has familiar surroundings…
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Welcome to another bonus episode of our normally...
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom may have just drawn to...
Thank The Maker!
We'd like to extend our thanks and appreciation to Pete and Alex at the Star Wars Minute. They started this Minute Podcast idea and they were kind enough to let us steal it (although it's possible they're just averting their eyes and waiting for our faces to melt off).
If you haven't heard their absolutely fantastic podcast yet, please check it out:
We'd like to offer our most heartfelt thanks to the great Kevin Murphy (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax fame) for writing our theme song!